I recently spent time with a friend who is a pastor. He was in the middle of a sermon series on contemporary issues and the topic for the following week was same-sex marriage. He held to a fairly stock-standard conservative evangelical approach and it was clear that his congregation expected him to articulate it.
I suggested that when he preached the sermon his target shouldn’t be the 55 year old man or woman who wanted to hear a strong condemnation of same-sex marriage, but the 15 year old kid who is homosexually oriented but terrified of coming out.
Suicide rates among gay youth are many multiples higher than among their straight counterparts. The key factors are the inability to accept oneself and the absence of supportive and caring community.((Gabs Rosnestreich, “LGBTI People, Mental Health & Suicide” (National LGBTI Health Alliance, 2011))) Despite their rhetoric of love and welcome, most of our churches are places that are anything but supportive and caring communities for people whose sexuality doesn’t fit a heterosexual norm. The 15 year old who’s grown up in the evangelical wing of the church has spent his entire life in a faith community where it is assumed that heterosexual orientation is the God given norm for sexuality; where almost every discussion of homosexuality will have focussed on what’s wrong with homosexuals; where the “gay lobby” is fiercely denounced; and where friends and parents and other adults make derogatory comments about homosexuals without censure from their peers. There’s a good chance that that 15 year old has internalised all these messages, wakes up every morning convinced God hates him, and is terrified of rejection if his true self is known. I know this because over the last few years I have become friends with a number of gay Christians and this is the story so many of them share.
Others have found the same. In 2013 Nigel Chapman, who was part of a Baptist church in Surry Hills, Sydney, that established strong relationships with the local gay community, wrote that
The lasting impression gained by listening to the experience of same-sex attracted Christians and community members is that a same-sex attracted person who grows up in one of our churches experiences alienation and fear, expects to be stigmatised and misunderstood, and is given every motivation to stay silent about this issue.((Chapman, “Evangelical Churches & Same Sex Attraction”, 2013. http://chapman.id.au/files/EvangelicalChurchesAndSameSexOrientation.pdf))
It’s backed up by research. A 2010 study((Lynne Hillier, Tiffany Jones, Marisa Monagle, Naomi Overton, Luke Gahan, Jennifer Blackman, Anne Mitchell, “Writing Themselves in 3. The third national study on the sexual health and wellbeing of same sex attracted and gender questioning young people.”)) by LA Trobe University’s Australian Research Centre in Sex, Health and Society found that compared to other same-sex attracted youth, religious same-sex attracted young people were:
- More likely to feel bad about their same sex attraction.
- More likely to have experienced social exclusion or had to tolerate homophobic language from friends.
- More likely to report homophobic abuse in the home.
- More likely to report feeling unsafe at home.
- More likely to not be supported by their mother, father, brother, teacher or student welfare coordinator/counsellor, when disclosing their SSA.
- More likely to report thoughts of self harm and suicide or to carry out self harm.
As a member of the church this makes me weep. Surely something has gone horribly and tragically wrong when being part of a church means gay, lesbian, bisexual, transsexual and intersex young people are more likely to suffer social exclusion, feel unsafe, not be supported, to report thoughts of self-harm and to carry out self-harm.
We’ve been so eager to remove the splinter from the eye of our gay, lesbian and bisexual brothers and sisters. Perhaps it’s time to take Jesus’s advice and start removing the logs from our own.
I believe we must begin with a period of introspection and repentance. Let’s put an end to all the sermons denouncing same-sex marriage as though this is the key issue for the church on sexuality. The key issue for the churches is surely our failure to be places of grace and safety for LGBTIQ people.
Human understanding of sexuality and gender has progressed rapidly in recent years. For example, it is now widely accepted that people do not choose their sexual orientation but that it is fixed and given for most of us by the time we reach adolescence. We have learned that the variations within sexualities are far more nuanced and complex than we previously thought. We have learned that people whose sexuality does not fit a heterosexual norm are not perverted or deviant in character, but beautiful creatures made in the image and likeness of their Creator.
Yet our churches remain repositories of bigotry and ignorance. In our efforts to defend a traditional sexuality we have failed to subject that sexuality to the blowtorch of critical reflection. It beggars belief that views that came to us from a time when there was widespread ignorance about sexuality, when sexually different people were thought to be morally deviant, and when violence was perpetrated against them in the name of Christ, do not need changing. Whatever we may end up retaining from a traditional sexuality, we must recognise that there is much in the traditional sexuality we inherited that is not pure nor Christ-like.
We must come to grips with the fact that our churches are toxic, life destroying environments to LGBTIQ people, even when it is not overtly spoken out. I was at an event last night in which a transgender person described the opprobrium that has been thrown at her by members of her church. She concluded by saying:
In the end it wasn’t harassment that made me leave [the church]. It was quiet, peaceful, passive rejection.
Those of us who are heterosexual must stop doing all the talking and start listening to the stories, experiences and insights of LGBTIQ Christians and then having listened, consider afresh what God might be saying to us and the way God might be leading us.
Ok so if the lgbti individual comes to your Church awesome…
preach Christ crucified…love them….include them….but when they ask about homesexuality and or lesbian acts that are forbidden what do you say to them?
We are told to preach the Truth in season and out of season, that will make a lot of people uncomfortable but this should not stop Christians from proclaiming God’s Truth as presented in the Bible. A true Christian will see everyone who has been given the breath of life as an individual that Jesus loves and died for, however, we all need to hear the Truth regardless of how we receive it, we are to preach the Truth in love and humility but nevertheless, preach the Truth. We are to come to Christ as we are but not misinterpret this as meaning to stay as we are. This includes those who experience same sex attraction, God can deliver us from all manner of sin. We cannot stay silent because we are scared of offending people or upsetting them because they do not like or will not accept what we tell them. If there is a situation that arises that calls for a minister to preach against same sex marriage then he should!
Omg….this is why people are leaving the church in droves.
This is simplistic and wrong. The only thing I agree with is the call to love and grace – but to ignore Gods definituons of sin is not the answer. What is neexed is the calling out of all sin including adultery, fornication and every other rather than picking out this one sin over all the others that are common in the church.
This is a truly disturbing piece with a gaping flaw – what does Scripture say? It is all very well to talk about the progress in the human understanding of sexuality but if you recall Genesis you’ll note that mankind quickly progressed from monogamy to polygamy. ‘Progress’ doesn’t always mean improving on what God intends! A better question would be what is God’s view of sexuality? Any teaching which advocates a message other than sex is something to be enjoyed between a husband and wife, all others are to remain chaste is messing with God’s message. Feel free to quibble about how churches handle those who don’t fit church norms, but to suggest the message is wrong is to preach against Christ. I don’t know about you but for me the thought of being told “I never knew you; depart from me, you worker of lawlessness” is a terrifying thought!!!
Hi Andrew,
you have jumped to a conclusion that the article is arguing for evangelicals to abandon their view of sexual ethics. That is not what the article is doing. What I am arguing is that in our rush to condemn same-sex relationships we are not making spaces of grace, welcome and hope for people within our churches who are same-sex oriented to be open about their orientation and find the love and support they require to live as faithful disciples of Jesus. LGBT IQ people report repeatedly that the churches are places of alienation, fear and rejection rather than places of grace and walking alongside them in the journey of discipleship.
Jumped? No I didn’t jump I simply read what you said and found it toxic towards Christianity. I’m perfectly prepared to accept that you have a point – that churches aren’t as welcoming to outsiders as Christ was to whores and tax collectors, but what I read in your post isn’t merely a criticism of style, but substance. The three references you rely on appear to be part of the homosexual lobby – yes I suspect you object to that term given the use of speech marks around the term in your original post, but the fact you rely on arguments from only one side of the debate, and don’t consider Scripture’s point of view, makes it appear that you value human wisdom above God’s wisdom. And claims to the contrary, given at least the first and last of your sources advance views that are hostile to Christian ethics, it’s hard not to think you’re arguing evangelicals abandon their ethics. You in fact state that it beggars belief that views have not changed, and that much of our traditional understanding of sexuality must be supplanted – presumably by teaching which you consider more reliable than Scripture. Please correct me if I’m misunderstanding you, it is after all possible that we differ more about phrasing than meaning, but I don’t think so.
Hi Andrew, I think you are misunderstanding me. First, to quote from a secular source is hardly inappropriate. The apostle Paul managed to do it any sermon in Acts 17 in the book of Proverbs incorporates large slabs of wisdom derived from the pagan world. you seriously suggesting that the research of an Australian university that demonstrates young people who are same-sex attracted a more likely to engage in self-harm if they belong to a church than if they don’t? That sounds to me just like shooting the messenger.
Second, it does pick a belief that views don’t change. Two generations ago it was common to believe that homosexual people had deviant character, that they chose their orientation, that they were likely to be paedophiles, and that they are a danger to society. You don’t get that from the Bible. indeed within contemporary conservative evangelical scholarship has been substantial movement in our views of sexuality, away from a previously held view that associated homosexual orientation with moral deviancy to the acceptance that orientation is not something for which an individual is morally culpable, but is part of the general brokenness of creation. Now I do think there seem serious problems with the brokenness model, but even within evangelicalism of the most conservative kind there have been great shifts.
so what do you say to those who are lgbti persons who are practicing same sex when they ask is it ok?
what do you say?
One day, after listening to some very informative interviews on Oprah, I realized that there are many people in the world who don’t ‘fit’ into the categories of “man” or “women”. I don’t know why I was an adult before I realized this. Maybe it’s because most churches preach it is the only way and so as I grew up in church I accepted it as truth OR maybe it’s because society has traditionally demanded it to be so. Some countries still persecute, imprison and execute anyone who dares to show a different sexuality to the norm. It was news to me that there are many people born with both male and female parts. Some of these people have had their sex decided for them at birth, by their parents or carers and some were allowed to grow up just as they were so that they could make the decision themselves when they were deemed mature enough. How awful it is for the parents to decide and get it wrong!! Some people like the way they are, after all, it is the way they were born and they have chosen to do nothing to conform to the norm and have not taken any steps to become either man or women. Changing sexes is, after all, a difficult and emotional process of painful and invasive procedures and hormone therapies and therefore not undertaken lightly. There are so many others who don’t fit where society demands they fit. Some feel trapped in the wrong body and others are quite happy with their bodies and are simply attracted to others of the same sex. Did God get it wrong? Did God allow it to happen? Did God actually create us while we were in our mother’s womb? If so, why are there so many born outside of the norm? Did God want there to be diversity? So many have been arguing that there is plain right and wrong, man and women and women for man. They say that it is a choice to be gay. They say it is an abomination. What is their medical expertise?? Have they considered all the facts…actual facts??? These issues are not black and white as some claim and desire. Why are they issues at all? Who is the judge? I am not gay and therefore don’t understand the experiences of my gay friends. I can honestly say I love them and am so pleased they are in my life. My gay friends show more true Christian character than many church goers I know as they wait ever so patiently to be treated as the equals they are. They should have the same basic human rights as the rest of us, including the right to love and be loved. I’m so sorry I was blind for so long. I am so glad my life is enriched by diversity, by my wonderful family, by an accepting and welcoming church and by incredible new and meaningful friendships I never expected to have but am so glad I do!!
Beautifully said Kim.
It’s funny if you have a couple where the husband is engaging in adultery I am sure there would be no call for the pastor to preach on monogamy or sanctity of marriage. Similarly when de facto couples attend church. Why are we so interested in only one type of sexual behaviour that belongs to others but not ourselves.
Doesn’t Jesus’ example to the tax collector of inclusion, or the woman at the well or adulterer of love point the way to go rather than the religious leaders huffing and puffing for healing on the Sabbath. Gender identity is a complicated matter. It requires much love, grace and real relationship rather than judgment. Women and slaves have been freed in the last couple of hundred years however fundamentalist leaders used the bible to justify not acknowledging the humanity, intelligence and freedom of both groups. I weep at the lack of understanding displayed here.
Well done Scott for standing up for us. It is sad to see that people do not or are not inclined to having that understanding. I’m a Christian and gay and there has been things said which I find very distasteful and disturbing. If they only knew by what they say are actually recorded and sometimes I ask God if He can blot it because I still care even when they’re cruel to my face. I think the pain of witnessing the end time causes me more anxiety knowing what God would say about on their day of reckoning.
I’m reminded of the story where the king gives gold to three of his staff and 1. Buries it, 2. Utilises it and profit twice and 3.invest it and thrice profited … the king came back and was pleased with the two but the one who simply buried it didn’t get a favourable response and to me most of those who thinks us as sinful, a cretin that deserve no love or kindness. They fit into that first person. I just hate the idea of cringing when they have to explain the “why” knowing no matter what they say won’t impress God but I guess that’s what Jesus blood that was shed but Jesus can turn around and I don’t know this person. I think that will break my heart.
It’s hard being a Christian and having this knowledge of a loving God who helped me to accept me for who I am. There are so
Many terrible things being done to us to try and make us straight in Jesus name but guess what? It’s not in Jesus name, it’s in their own determination to kill us and to rid us because they just can’t tolerate us, they make money from it, some of the cruelest ones have criminal records hmmmm so yeah. The LGBTIQ community is fed up and it’s time that anything said about us on the pulpit is withdrawn. It’s wrong when we know LGBTIQ youth are 14 times to sucicide or harm themselves than the heterosexual peers. Chew on the before you preach your hatred of us.
I have seen a few and they know and they cringed when I spoke because while they spoke Quite negatively about our tribe I found incriminating stuff they were doing behind the church and I was happy to share that – if they have the time to preach it you can almost guarantee that they hiding something more sinister.
Thank you Scott and I hope people who are not incline to understanding gets a wake up call.
I guess no-one will, or wants to answer my question of…… “so what do you say to those who are lgbti persons who are practicing same sex when they ask is it ok?
what do you say?
Well all I see here are grey comments…wishy washy on the fence agreements….ill-informed theological viewpoints that have no bias scriptural wise whatsoever…
These are all dangerous and really…REALLY scary, what the Bible says is clear. There is only one Bible and any sex act outside of marriage is a sin in Gods eyes…other sex acts with the same gender is a sin. Do you worship a different God and follow a different Bible? No you don’t so don’t get caught up in the spirit of the age…the so-called seeker sensitive age is over so dont get caught up in the gender neutral one either PEOPLE WE ARE IN THE AGE OF TRUTH. LOVE AND TRUTH PEOPLE….we are going back to 1st Century Christianity so don’t be blinded by the enemy. So yes love and pray for those struggling in this area and support them to turn their back on ungodly activity…..help them yield to the Spirit of God and surrender….seek deep healing Ministry and awake yourselves as a living sacrifice…….being a Christian is a price to pay not an activity club to join a movement. More Holy Ghost and less cerebral mindsets and run-sheets in your Churches God is saying…
Scott Higgins preach the cross brother… Preach the Greek and study the Hebrew… All wisdom in both OT & NT points to holiness and sanctification….the old reflects the new.
Give the Devil one centimeter and he shall try take it all, ask those who are already in Hell.
Hi loginyoureye?
The reason I have not responded to your question is that you are illustrating the very issue I’ve raised. I write an article pointing out that young people who are same-sex attracted are more likely to self-harm and fall into despair if they are in the church than without and suggest we spend less time condemning them and more time helping them work through their sexuality in a safe and graceful environment and all you want to talk about is condemnation.
So what would you say or Minister in reply to my question then Scott?
Not say anything?
How is condemnation following the very Word of truth?
Im confused brother?
This issue has become a real emotionally biased debate that at times does not allow both sides to safely exercise valid reason.
Thank you for your post irrespective of any hint of biases or prejudice or lack thereof.
Can I offer my humble (hopefully) opinion that can be unpacked, nit picked, mis read etc, or any wise discussion that can be good if it leads us healthily towards God and the liberation of His Divine Word. It is more a ramble without fine editing so please forgive me in advance as it is not intended in any way to be diatribe.
Any sermon presented should always be in the hope and belief that God has inspired it and that the timing of delivery is supernatural. It takes also a great skill and maturity to know how to present and to handle the aftermath of speaking en-masse to believers of every disposition, unbelievers and inwardly to the sinful state.
I sense that the topic header is lost in the presentation that jumps into very deep areas that cannot be singularised in this way.
Same sex marriage should never be allowed within the body of Christ and therefore his establishment as he has given very clear mandate re this.
It is likened (although somewhat poorly) to someone creating something with there rules, terms and exclusivity. Someone who is not prepared to abide but wants in, gains momentum from others like minded and then makes it a personal conflict and focuses on there own agenda to bully their way in and distort and change the rules with no regard for the creator nor those who actively and willingly followed.
As believers; Firstly we must exude God given love to all without exercising dominion covertly or otherwise .
We must reflect upon our own life journey, How God met us through the Son Jesus, our state, His rescue, the transformation journey to date(the instantaneous), the easy and the difficult, the hidden desires, prejudices and sin that may still lurk in darkness not yet allowed by us to be penetrated by the light of the gospel.
This will provide us with a willingness to hear another s journey, possibly befriend and support God led growth.
We must seize upon the Word Of God, the only real truth, benchmark and guideline that we possess whether we agree with it or we wrestle with context and meaning. It challenges out thoughts, our carnal minds and our need to satisfy the Genesis dilemma; the lust of the eye, the lust of the flesh, the pride of life.
Without the indwelling of God through Jesus and the powerful nurture of the Holy Spirit we will remain lost in our sinful state.
Can anyone from any carnal disposition become a christian? Yes of course Jesus encourages us to meet Him at that place, God the Father draws us or no man shall come. Now should we remain unchanged? NO! Could we? YES, although uncomfortably convicted. We can misconstrue this or deny it until but a whisper.
Now here lies the problem. We struggle with our carnal state at times, we allow emotion and feelings to invade us to the point of being overwhelmed. We then have to find someone to blame-ourselves leads to deep depression,sorrow and death, others-leads to anger, resentment and bitterness, God- leads to despair and hopelessness and separation from the very one who loves us and is healing our already confessed and forgiven sinful state.
We live in a fallen world that is constantly challenging the word of God with satan like tenacity-Did God really say that?Surely you will not die!
They gather their own with the pretense of love but it is only comradeship at its best for there is still deep deep injury from years of why?
Of course God and His people will be scorned and hung by every word we utter whether true or misgiven. Do not underestimate satan who comes to only rob,kill and destroy. He will use any means to carry this out!
Every sermon that ever provokes our sinful state will always upset us within if we do not have the tools and support to be provoked to a state of willingness to accept God at his word despite our inability at that time to understand or wholly agree. We need revelation, but with revelation we then require obedience to Gods steps of obedience towards freedom. He is not silent on any sinful pathway, but ready and willing to walk and lead us through and out.
Only loving someone with a willingness to journey but not to be compromised in belief, holding fast to God and His words of Life, (only comes via mutual respect), can we overcome carnality, depravity, satans lies, unholy spiritual indwelling, sin.
I come from a family lineage that had a generational history of, or was preyed upon by others, of anger, violence, alcoholism, most forms of abuse, infidelity, sexual misconducts in various outworkings, depression, suicides, sicknesses and death.
Years of peer pressure, peer groups, medications, scientific support of carnal belief structures etc only provided temporal
relief but no real everlasting answer and healing. Only believing God and therefore trusting for the way ahead did. One man out of many imposters had the courage to love, build relationship that lead to trust and allowing him to speak Godly truth into our lives.
Perhaps the podium of the auditorium is not the place for such workings….unless God has clearly decreed it. We have to expose ourselves to the long suffering of relationships with all their nuances and fragility.
We are a long married couple with 10 children of varying personality, lots of friends and peers covering a myriad of life choices.
We encourage healthy banter that allows the door to be freely opened to the gospel. We never forget where we were drawn from by God.
We are immersed in the life battles of youth with the outworkings of depression and suicide. There are a lack of meaningful relationships within their own lives that allow the freedom to bring into the light their feelings, emotions and beliefs. One being with themselves and the allowance of the value system that honours God, His creation of them, His desire to love them in a healthy and wholesome way. These attributes all being skillfully removed or corrupted within society over many years.
Whether young or old, our family expect that God will give us His discernment on how we love each one that comes into our midst or we are in danger of our own carnality when quoting scripture and become merely gonging symbols.
I recall earlier on in our marriage how I would go off on a late night walk to let off steam and impress God in how right I was.
He would gently remind me that I could choose to be right but only at the sacrifice of His loving righteousness. The long walks quickly became short. The zeal to be right with Gods word overwhelmed by His loving desire to bring life without compromise, but yet His perfect love. To this day I still yearn to be complete in this work of God.
Tear down walls and build bridges. It may take time so take it. No hidden agendas of befriending, but genuine love, ask God for the wisdom to love supernaturally and for the nurture of His Holy Spirit for the lost soul but a powerful use of His word to separate flesh from sinful forces at work; For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Ephesians 6:12