Introversion has never been my way of engaging with the world. According to Introvert, Dear “an introvert is someone who prefers calm, minimally stimulating environments. Introverts tend to feel drained after socialising and regain their energy by spending time alone.” I’ve always been extroverted. I gain energy from socialising and go stir-crazy without it...
Last November I posted a health update that reflected a rather bleak outlook for 2019. I had watched my physical health deteriorate under the influence of Parkinsons to the point that most days were spent with hours of disabling tremors, a window of functionality that might last anywhere from one hour to many hours, followed by many hours of dyskenesia. I was scheduled for a promising new...
Many of those who follow my blog are aware I have Parkinsons. Less well known is that the same year (2012) I was diagnosed with Parkinsons I was also diagnosed as having Chronic Lymphomatic Leukemia (CLL). CLL usually progresses very slowly and doesn’t need treatment for many years. So at my last six monthly checkup I was expecting my Doctor to give me the same message I’ve...
One of the things I’d been looking forward to this year was taking up invitations to speak at conferences in Vienna and Jakarta. A couple of weeks back I wrote to the organisers of those conferences to notify them I would need to withdraw, for over the last couple of months I have experienced a substantial deterioration in physical health that makes...
People often inquire how I’m going with my Parkinsons, so I thought I’d provide an update… Over the last few months I have deteriorated a bit. I take meds every 3.5 hours. When they have fully kicked in I move freely, but as they’re kicking in or wearing off my muscles stiffen and my hands tremor, sometimes wildly, and I shuffle about the house like an old man on speed...
It has finally arrived, that moment where I reluctantly admit that my body will no longer allow me to operate at the pace I had grown to love nor to do all the things I have loved to do. The last two weeks saw me at three back-to-back conferences: the Beyond Justice Festival in Canberra; Baptistcare Australia national conference in Perth; and Micah Australia’s Voices for Justice. I’m...
Just about everybody I know wants to lead the good life, but what does that mean when your body is slowly deteriorating and making you increasingly disabled? I have found the writing of Miroslav Volf helpful. In the book A Public Faith, Volf, a Professor of Theology at Yale Divinity School, describes three phases in Western thinking about what makes for a good or flourishing life. For many...
After a recent meeting someone pulled me aside and asked if I was angry with him. I was surprised because not only was this person someone I liked and respected, but I wasn’t the least bit angry. After reassuring him that everything was good between us, it dawned on me what had occurred. Parkinsons has a fairly dramatic affect on facial expression, so as my meds wear off there can be a...
Parkinsons brings a lot of unwelcome firsts.Recently it was the first time I had to ask someone to cut up my meal. There were three of us out for lunch. A beautiful cut of meat lingered on my plate. The steak knife was sharp. But my tremor meant all I could manage was a constant chinking of the knife against the ceramic of the plate. I concentrated every ounce of energy I could summon on making...
I boarded a crowded train a few weeks back. It was a day when my tremor was particularly bad. A thoughtful woman offered to find me a seat, which I declined. Then as I struggled to manoeuvre my phone into an already full bag another passenger tried to help me. Without saying a word he unzipped the bag, took my phone from me and put it inside the bag. Part of me was thankful that a complete...