Prayer baffles me. I know it’s important, and I find myself drawn to pray. But I don’t get it. Here’s why.
A few years back I went to a midweek prayer group in a somewhat agitated state. My very old Apple laptop had just frozen for the umpteenth time and I’d lost a couple of hours work. Yes this was back in the days when even Apple laptops crashed! When the members of my prayer group heard what had happened they enthusiastically announced they would pray about it. This made me even more agitated. “Please don’t. I’m sure there are much more important things for God to handle than my frozen computer.” But they would not be deterred. Much to my annoyance pray they did.
“Lord, you know Scott’s frustration. Please resolve these computer problems.”
“Lord, you know the service Scott gives as pastor of our church. We don’t want anything to hinder that, not even computer crashes. Please fix these problems”
“Lord, please spare me from these crazy prayers” I muttered under my breath.
The prayer meeting finished and I went home. As I walked in the front door the phone was ringing. On the line was a guy I knew from another church, someone I hadn’t had much contact with for a year or two. “This might sound strange” he said, “but I’ve got a computer for you in the boot of my car. Can I drop it off tonight? The only hitch is it’s an Apple, so you may not have the software you’ll need.”
I stood rebuked. I had a need. My friends had prayed. God had answered.
Nonetheless prayer baffles me. Episodes like this convince me that God does answer prayer. What baffles me is why he chooses to answer prayers like this one, yet appears silent on things that are much more important. Why answer those prayers about a computer but remain silent as the same group pray for healing for chronically ill members of the congregation? Why spectacularly answer my father’s prayer for healing from his addiction to nicotine, yet leave unanswered the prayers of others for the same?
If God is capricious or fickle it would make perverted sense. But the God revealed by Jesus is loving, wise and good.
So it bugs me to say it because I like to have things figured out, but I just don’t get it. All I can do is trust that my loving, wise and good God will do what is loving, wise and good. And in a strange way prayer reminds me of that. As I pray “your kingdom come, your will be done” I am reminded that all the pain, suffering and trouble of this life are not the way it’s supposed to be and will be overcome when God’s reign is one day made universal. In the meantime, amidst the world’s messiness, violence, and dysfunction, which have no underlying rhyme or reason, I see glimpses of God’s reign in the small ways God answers prayer even if I am baffled by those times he appears silent. And maybe that’s enough to help me navigate life.
Hi Scott, This is for me the whole point,- faith/trust vs understanding(albeit limited).
We are told to work out our own salvation, so that implies to me a responsability to critically examine what motivates me, and to try to choose (often unsuccesfully) that which leads to a life that has meaning beyond consumerism, or dogma. Hindsight is sometimes a bitter vista, but one I am compelled to view, and give reluctant thanks for the lesson it now gives.
Even though I still pray, I am uncomfortable with the form of language that seems stuck in 19th century war idioms, is almost incomprehesible to an “outsider”, and with knowledge of many prayers unanswered. This leads to a certaim amount of trepidation in praying- but I cant ignore the instances of past prayers answered. Work out your own salvation indeed.
Last weekend the JW’s came to the door, with their slant on the bible. I voiced similar sentiments to those just stated, but was given pat answers. I didnt have the heart, courage?, to ask the elder what he would do if his daughter accompanying him needed a life saving blood transfusion. What sort of god allows a beleive system that puts a parent in that position? What is the role of intellect here? I know the OT references, but that is not sufficient.
To surrender reason, and pray with that mindset, is for me an insult to the god that put me in the here and now. If my prayers have meaning or relevance to others I have great trouble in seeing it, yet I am often moved to pray by forces that I dont understand. The instance you mention can just as simply be explained away as chance, but that view seems to lack the very essence of that which makes life good, the wonder, compassion, and simple acknowledgement of not knowing everything. cheers! Mick
Hi Mick,
Love the way you put it in the last sentence, and agree with the discomfort with militaristic language. Would add to that the predominance of masculine images of God
Yes, prayer baffles me as well.
I remember a time where I made it a condition of my kids that they ask me any other sort of question before one that started with “will you” or “can I”. Of course prayer is a lot broader and deeper than getting God to ‘meet our needs’, but it is certainly a point where the rubber hits the road (or knees hit the floor); compatible with a loving-father God.
I too have had many instances where amazing things have happened – and not happened – as a ‘result’ of prayer. To be honest with myself I have had to question the link. We hope that intensity of prayer, numbers of pray-ers and pureness of heart and intention helps. At times it seems to and others, not.
If the prayer is ‘answered’ in the affirmative we are usually grateful to a loving and good God. If there is silence, or no obvious connection or change in the circumstances we agree that God is asking us to wait, or grow in trust/ patience/ tolerance. And if the situation deteriorates, we often blame ourselves (not God) with not enough faith, needing to learn a deeper lesson, some past unrepented sin. While this at times could be true, it is difficult to honestly apply to most real-life situations.
I know the analogy is weak, but if three of my kids all came to me with splinters in their fingers and I ran to the attention of one, communicated to the other in a mysterious way that he might understand that he should wait till it got infected, and totally ignored the third as he blamed himself for not tidying his room, I could fully understand a growing confusion and frustration in our relationship.
It’s been a very long time since I seriously asked God for a car park. I’m not drawn to follow a God who provides such a thing while a mother cries out for a cup of rice to feed her family. In recent years I’ve ceased asking for anything. Amazingly miracles and tragedies still occur in the same frequency. Unexplainable joys that take my breath away, and very painful times that could have been so easily altered.
I wonder, is there something a bit misleading with our use of the term ‘personal relationship’ when we refer to our connection with God? and glad for brothers like you Scott who can make the way ahead so clear on issues like this 😉
Hi Dave,
Rather like the analogy you draw using your kids. Interesting also your comment that you ceased asking and miracles and tragedies still occur in same frequency. A little difficult to measure, but does raise question of whether prayer ch#nges what god will do.